I had two active, active boys before I had Zane. At least I thought they were active. Now I realize the word 'active' is a relative term.
Zane entered our world like a tornado.
My pregnancy with Zane was placenta previa. That means that the doctors needed to take him early by c-section. It was a difficult delivery. Zane was wedged sideways and they had a hard time getting him out. I vomited throughout the entire procedure and I lost a third of my blood. Zane came out not breathing. When they tried to start his breathing, they were too aggressive and collapsed a lung. I saw him as they whisked him past my face - between heaves - and then didn't see him again for about 5 hours. For the next couple of days, he was in ICU and I wasn't able to hold him because any handling made him cry and slowed the healing of his lung.
The whole situation was horrible. I was used to long labours and deliveries and then holding and nursing my babies right away. This time, I still felt like I was pregnant after I had him. I didn't have any attachment as I was looking at this baby that could have been anybody's.
I didn't feel the attachment until one night I went into his private ICU room, held him to my naked chest, pulled a blanket over us and fell asleep...for hours. All of a sudden, it all felt right. He was mine.
As a young baby, he wasn't exactly fussy, he just wasn't very happy either. This continued into his toddler years. Never completely happy. Around the time I expected him to start talking, he was just cooing. As he was getting older, he would hum everything. Same tone, same inflections that we used, but no words.
A speech therapist (Zoe) starting coming to our home about once a month and an infant development specialist (Lotte) came once a week. It was clear that Zane understood absolutely everything and was very bright, but still no words. Zoe was increasingly thinking that Zane was struggling with the fine motor skills in his mouth area and just couldn't seem to get that area to work the way he wanted it to. When he would try to copy things that I was saying, his face and mouth would look awkward. Some words seemed to come from his nose, rather than his mouth. We played games like blowing bubbles and sticking his tongue out to lick something from my finger to sharpen his fine motor skills.
During this time, Zane was developing some amazing skills in expression. His face can tell a story. His eyes and face seem to light up when he's on a roll. His eyebrows do great things. He will look at you out of the corner of his eye in a way that makes you just wanna grab him, squeeze him and cuddle him for all his cuteness.
But, the older Zane was getting, the more frustrated he was and the more behaviour issues he had. Imagine - having things to say, things to ask for and not being able to get people to understand. I'd be melting down, too!
Seemingly overnight, things began to change. Within a month's time, Zane went from saying a handful of words to speaking full sentences. Full, complete sentences. Truly.
It has been a privilege to see Zane blossom during this time. He is expressive. He is talkative. He is happier. He is fun. He's also an almost 3-year-old who knows exactly what he wants - or doesn't want - and now has the vocal skills to let you know. Ha!
During his frustrating time of no speech, I kept saying, "Zane...when you learn to talk, we are going to have a PARTY! I will be so excited for you! Things will be so much easier for you."
So............we had a party. Complete with carrot cake and cream cheese icing, a present and a family game of limbo. He was the star of the party! He ate up all that attention and went to bed beaming. When you ask him why we had a party, his eyes get big, his face lights up and he says, "Cuz I'm talkin'!"
Thank you, Lord, for Zane and for the blessings he brings to our family. You sure knew what you were doing when you gave him to us. I am forever thankful!
