Today is Kobe's birthday party. Five years old! This is the life. Somedays feel long, they feel like I argue, prod, clean up, fix, get frustrated...all day long. It feels like I'm in the trenches. And then I stop and think. I think of these four little boys who need me and who love me and who are not 'getting in the way' of what I need to get done. They ARE what I need to get done. Even as I am going through this time period, I know, I just know that I will look back someday and long for these days. I will long for the days of my boys being litte, being boisterous, of crying for a kiss on their owie, of hearing the words 'Mom, _____ just hit me!' I KNOW I will miss this. So why do I complain about it? Why do I feel like some days will never end? Why do I get so frustrated? Why can't I just relax and ENJOY it?
Lord, please help me to live life now. Please help me to be content and to be thankful in every circumstance. Not a guilty I-need-to-be-thankful thankful, but a truly heartfelt thankful. Lord, please change my heart, please help me parent in view of your eternity. Help me to savour every minute of what you've given me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
In The Trenches?
Wholesomeness
There is a family that we have gotten to know in the last few years.
They are fascinating to me because:
-they have raised/are raising 9 godly children.
-they moved to the Philipines when she was pregnant with her 4th child and had no idea that the Lord would have them serve there for 17 years before returning.
-their children seem so 'wholesome'.
-when you drive in their driveway, it's like entering a different world - a world of friendliness, eagerness, respectfulness, authenticity.
-the children have been trained to be true servants.
-their 16-year-old daughter can keep a house better than I can.
-they desire to be around our family and seem to genuinely enjoy our visits.
We were recently invited to their youngest son's birthday party. Here are some pictures to show of the celebrations.
duck...duck...duck...duck...
...goose!
What time is it Mr. Wolf?
LUNCHTIME!
Today we helped celebrate one of their daughter's wedding. It is a big year for them - two weddings, their first grandbaby and a possible move back to the Philipines.
Skipping Out
I'm beat.
It's mostly that great 'first trimester fatigue'.
We have our care group at our house on Tuesday nights. Tonight after dinner, Dwayne looked at me and must have realized how tired I felt.
He told me to skip out tonight. "Go upstairs, relax, go to sleep early."
At first, I thought, 'I can't do that! Not care group!' The more I thought about it, though, the more I thought it might be a good idea.
So that's where I am. Upstairs. Hiding out. Blogging. My two youngest children are asleep and the oldest has no idea I'm up here, either.
And I don't feel guilty...I feel like I will come out of this feeling rested.
My Favourite Thing
We went to the city on Sunday.
It was a fun day filled with meeting my brother's new baby, the McDonald's Playplace and swimming!
The next morning, I asked the children what the best thing about the day before was.
Dylan: "My favourite thing was jumping off the diving board!"
Kobe: "My favourite thing was not jumping off the diving board!"
Welcome, Jordy!
Embracing Imperfection
In 2000, I started to get sick. They didn't know what was wrong with me. They did all sorts of tests, mostly of my digestive system, only to tell me that there was nothing wrong with me. I kept saying that it felt like my intestines were twisted. I was in much pain, but they insisted I was fine.
I got pregnant with Dylan in the fall of 2001. Once I got pregnant, I was fine. I felt great! When Dylan was 2 months old, it came back. Badly. There were many points when I could not stand up straight because something inside was pulling so hard. At first it was mostly during my period. By 2004, it was for about 3 1/2 weeks out of every month. Many days, I could not pick my precious boy up - it was simply too painful. I was on strong pain medication. I cried when I peed - it hurt. I cried when I ate - it hurt.
Finally, they decided it may be endometriosis. I had an exploratory surgery to see if that's what it was. It was! When the surgeon came to see me afterwards, he told me how bad of a case it was and said that he didn't know how I was even handling the pain. Finally, someone who understood that I was sick - and didn't think I was crazy!
He said that I had much scar tissue - I may not have more children. He said that there was damage inside my uterus, outside my uterus and along my fallopian tubes. He said that the scar tissue (lesions) had attached my organs together. Organs that were supposed to be free-moving were attached to each other. This explained the pain while eating and peeing.
After my surgery, he put me on hormone injections. The point was to put me through a pseudo-menopause to give my system a break from menstruating. The injections caused hot-flashes, strange food cravings and weight-gain (faster than when I was pregnant!)
I was on the injections for a few months before they did another surgery to clean up the mess that was inside me. They cauterized the endometrium and tried to repair a damaged tube. Then they started me on chlomid, which is a fertility drug. They said that my best chance of getting pregnant was right now, while everything was cleaned out.
I did get pregnant - and quickly miscarried. I was devastated! This may have been my one chance.
Three months later, I got pregnant again - with Kobe. The only cure the doctors know of for endometriosis is pregnancy. It doesn't always cure it, but it seems that Kobe's pregnancy did cure me. I have had no pain since.
This was such a tough time in my life. I felt alone - as nobody could find anything wrong with me (and at the time it all started, I wasn't a believer). I was in pain. I thought that if they couldn't find anything wrong with me, I would simply have to get used to living in pain - find a new normal. I was devastated that I may only have one child. It was a dark time for me.
I used to feel subconscious about the fact that I have struggled with my weight since the hormones. I never had to even try to be slender before - it just happened. I used to feel subconscious about my scars from the surgery. I used to feel subconscious about the two stretch marks I have on each thigh from the rapid weight gain (I didn't even get stretch marks from my pregnancies for cryingoutloud!)
I don't feel subconscious anymore. I feel like my body tells a story of what it and I have been through. I have come to be fond of my imperfect body because it's a reminder of some trying times that I've come through. God is good and He has brought me through all of this!
Since my endometriosis trials, I had another pregnancy - Zane's. This pregnancy was placenta previa so I needed a c-section. It has added to the story my body tells. Maybe the future will hold more chapters to my 'body story', I don't know. I do know that I intend to embrace this story and thank God the whole way.
Things Happen For A Reason
Part of my daily routine is exercising on my elliptical trainer. After lunch, I put Zane down for a nap and Dylan, Kobe and I head to the basement.
The children play while I watch a show on my laptop and give 'er all I've got on the elliptical. I don't want the children listening to the shows (you just never know what language they will use or what things they might say) so I hook up my earphones.
This last week, the power went off as I was making lunch. I was making grilled cheese, so I set the pan on the stove and turned it on. Right then, the power went off. I got distracted and forgot to turn the burner off. I made something else for lunch.
I took Zane upstairs for his nap, grabbed my laptop and water bottle and headed to the basement with the children. When I got down there, I realized I'd forgotten my earphones. As I was coming back up to get them, the power came back on.
Upstairs, I noticed that the stove light was on. When I checked it out, I realized that the burner was on with an empty pan on it. In that little time, the burner was already red-hot. I hate to think of what would have happened if I hadn't forgotten my earphones - with the baby upstairs, the stove on the main floor and me down in the basement with my earphones in!
I usually keep my earphones with my laptop, but Dwayne had had a stomach bug and didn't coach Dylan's hockey the night before. He sent Dylan to hockey with me. I watched Dylan's hockey practice from the gym upstairs at the rec centre, with my mp3 and my earphones.
I guess Dwayne's puking streak saved us from a house fire. Thank you, Lord, for Dwayne's stomach bug!
Christmas Concert
No pictures of the potluck - way too busy deciding how to fill my plate. *wink*
Mary Did You Know?
I have been trying all week to get video from my video camera tape onto my computer. I can get video from my memory stick onto my computer, but not from the tape. I tell ya...all this technology can sometimes drive a person crazy!
I have decided to settle (for now) for posting pictures of Dylan singing. He did a solo at the Sunday School Christmas concert. He sang Mary Did You Know.
It brings tears to this mama's eyes to see him growing up so quickly. I am just so proud of the little gentleman he's becoming.
Zane is 1
Zane's Firsts...
Smile - 6 weeks
Rolled tummy to back - 13 weeks
Giggle - 14 weeks
Rolled back to tummy - 5 months
Crawling - 7 1/2 months
Pull up to sit - 8 months
Pull up to stand - 8 months
Moved into his own bedroom - 8 1/2 months
First steps - 10 1/2 months
19 lbs on his first birthday
Here's a true story for you...
Dwayne and his friend, Dennis, went on a business trip to the city. It happened to fall on the same weekend as the snowmobile expo.
Coincidence? Maybe.
Some of their other friends had gone to the expo - including my brother and Mr. Journey. The guys stopped by the expo. When my brother and Mr. Journey found out that Dwayne & Dennis were spending the night in the city, they offered to share their hotel room.
"It's a large hotel - about 32 floors. Our room is really big - 2 rooms, extra beds."
That sounded good. They gave Dwayne and Dennis the key and the room number and said they'd meet them there later.
When they got to the hotel, the key card wouldn't work in the elevator. Stupid things never seem to work properly. They stood in the elevator watching other people swipe their cards. Maybe they were doing it too fast or too slow. Some of the others looked at them like they were about to jump them strangely.
(Those guys sure exaggerated. The hotel isn't 32 floors - it was only 20 floors.)
They decided there was something wrong with the key. They went to the reception and said it wasn't working. Could they get a new one?
The receptionist wanted ID, but Dwayne's was out in the truck. "It's room 1308 and it's under Mr. Journey's name."
The guy checked his computer and gave them another key.
The key worked in the elevator and the room. Bonus!
(Those guys really exaggerated. The room was one room - not two - and it was tiny with only one bed. Where were they going to sleep?)
They looked around a bit more and noticed a Chinese newspaper. What?!?!
Dwayne looked in Mr. Journey's backpack, which was laying there. Chinese writing in there, too.
Uh, oh.
"Let's get outta here. We're in the wrong room."
Turns out it was the same hotel chain, different hotel.
The blessing? The real room owners didn't come back just as Dwayne & Dennis were leaving. Would I have been the choice for his one allowable telephone call?
Wordless Wednesday - Almost
I love baby eyes! They are so clear that you feel like you can see right through them. Here is a glimpse of our camp and the mountains - and me - throught Zane's (8 months) eyes.
8 Hours
I rolled over in bed at 7am.
Me: "Where's the baby?"
Dwayne: "What do you mean?"
Me: "Where is he?"
Dwayne: *strange look*
Me: "He didn't wake up last night!"
Dwayne went in to check on him. Sound asleep. This is the first time ever in his 8-month-life that he's slept through the night. I feel so good! So rested!
It is now 7:30. Still sleeping. All 3 of them. Hmmm...enjoying my coffee during the calm before the storm.
