I'm Tired

I'm tired.

Very, very tired.

This is the type of tired that isn't fixed my one good night's sleep. It's past that.

When Dylan was a baby, I was up every.two.hours until he was 7-months-old. Lack of sleep changes your personality. It was bad. Very bad.

Enter Kobe. He slept great. Not sleepthroughthenightat2weeksold great, but it was much better than with Dylan. Now that he's older...not so much. He doesn't need near as much sleep as anyone else in the family. And he doesn't think anyone else should sleep when he's awake. When we built our house, we insulated his bedroom because he sleeps so lightly and is such a squack-box when he wakes up. Sadly, it didn't help much.

Enter Zane. He is Dylan's twin...only 5 years late. He wakes often and believes that he should be within sniffing-distance of my breast.

All of this has left me exhausted. I have bags under my eyes that look like they've taken up permanent residence. I cannot start my morning without a stiff cup of java. I pray daily for rest and for patience to tide me through when rest is just not meant to be.

This week, Zane has gotten a doozie of a cold. Last night was a sleep for 20 minutes, up for 20 minutes kind of night. Add this to the above sleep issues, and, 'Houston, we have a problem'. I awoke this morning wanting to pull my pillow tightly over my head and ignore my household all.day.long. Then it clearly came to me: 'Be thankful in all circumstances (1Thessalonians 5:18).' Wow, I'm going to need some help with this today, Lord.

I'm not a fan of blogs that are full of complaining. I'm sorry to have one of those posts today. I'm sure tomorrow will be better. In the meantime, please pray for me (and my sick baby).


Wendi said...

Oh what a relatable post! :) I am also mommy to three boys. Mine are 5, 3, and 18 months. Sleep is a beautiful privilege isn't it? :)
I found you on 'Our moments our memories' and of course my interest was piqued at your 'Queen to my 3 boys' title. Good stuff!! :)

Me said...

You have my prayers. Being beyond exhaustion is a miserable place to be.

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Oh girl. Don't ever apologize for needing to vent or "complain" a little bit. We've all been there! Praying for you and your little one for rest and healing.

raising4boys said...

It's not fun at all when the kids don't sleep. I hope things get easier for you. My 10 month old has been having a hard time sleeping on his own lately, we have our good days and bad.